The Biggest Mistake I Made at My Own Wedding- as a Wedding Content Creator

As someone who has worked in the wedding industry as a wedding content creator for the past three years, I decided to plan my entire French destination wedding myself.

It was a huge undertaking: a dry-hire venue in a rural corner of France, vendors who didn’t speak English and Google Translate as my new best friend.

I know some incredible wedding planners, but for our budget- and the kind of undone, relaxed wedding we wanted- I thought I could give it a pretty good go myself.

And I did.

I navigated venue disasters. Quotes four times the going rate because I was an ‘outsider’ enquiring. Legislation changes. Last-minute hidden fees. And all-round planning chaos.

Then, just one week before the wedding, a midnight cut-off was enforced on us. Cue rearranging the entire day with some highly unresponsive vendors. Anyone who knows destination weddings will know they often don’t even begin until after 4pm, let alone finish by midnight.

By the time the wedding arrived, I thought I was pretty competent and very well versed in the moving parts and inevitable chaos of a wedding day.

I’d made the ten-page wedding bible for our bridal party and family. The moodboards were beautiful. The itinerary was airtight. Every vendor had their point of contact for the day- my mum or bridesmaids.

I was ready to switch off, put my phone away and be carried along by the celebrations I had so painstakingly planned.

But on the big day?

My brain- which had been firing on all cylinders for months- simply could not stop.

The one thing we didn't book

The one thing we’d decided not to secure (because of price, logistics and despite working alongside some wonderful ones at other weddings…) was a wedding coordinator.

And suddenly, all of those tiny logistical jobs had to belong to someone.

When my florist was an hour and a half late, my incredible photographer discreetly realised, contacted her and made sure she arrived ASAP, with just enough time to set everything up.

Not her job, I completely agree. But hasn’t it always been a running theme that amazing photographers somehow end up going above and beyond?

After the ceremony, I realised the 50 glass straws I’d collected for the bar hadn’t been unpacked. So there I was, in my wedding dress, digging around the storage room looking through boxes for them.

I was checking that my phone, which was playing our Spotify playlists, was charged, and that the spare phone was ready to go.

I was making sure our eight vegetarian guests received their mains at dinner.

I had missed calls from the band, who arrived during dinner and needed to know exactly where to set up.

When the pizza van arrived at 10.30pm and wouldn’t serve until I gave them ‘permission’, I was back on Google Translate confirming how many pizzas we wanted and, yes, that they could start serving now.

At 11pm, a guest was hunting me down to ask whether we had a gluten-free pizza.

And as midnight struck, I had my phone in my hand again, making sure the shuttle bus driver had started ferrying our guests home.

The reality of planning your own wedding

The plan had been simple: organise everything to perfection, delegate to our incredibly supportive and reliable friends and family, and be completely offline on the day.

The reality was rather different.

Without a paid vendor there to take the reins, someone who knows weddings inside out, pre-empts problems before they reach you and is completely dedicated to making sure the day runs smoothly, who do all those little decisions eventually fall to?

You.

Of course, your friends and family want to help. Ours absolutely did.

But should your cherished guests, who have travelled, spent a fair chunk of money to celebrate with you, dressed up in their finest and are probably a few wines deep, really be the ones picking up the slack..? Probably not.

What I'd do differently

As a bride who also happens to know weddings inside out, and as a wedding content creator fresh from experiencing my own wedding from the other side, this is the biggest thing I’d do differently:

At the very minimum, book an on-the-day wedding coordinator.

They can take the questions, the phone calls, the late vendors, the dietary requirements, the transport logistics and the hundred tiny decisions you never even knew would need making.

Because you’ve already spent months (sometimes years,) planning this day. You’ve spent the money. You’ve chosen every detail. You’ve imagined how it will feel. When it finally arrives, you deserve to actually be there for it.

Not searching through boxes for glass straws in your wedding dress.

Looking for a wedding content creator in London or beyond?

As a London wedding content creator, I spend my weekends behind the scenes of wedding days, capturing all the candid, unfiltered moments that happen in between the photographs, from getting ready and walking down the aisle to the dance floor and everything in between.

And after planning my own destination wedding? I have a whole new appreciation for what’s happening behind the scenes, too.

Explore my wedding content packages or get in touch about your wedding date, Elle.candidlycaught@gmail.com